I have of late, but wherefore I know not, lost all my mirth....
Maybe I'm just stressed from work, maybe the upheavals of the last two years are finally tiring me out. Whatever... I find almost anything I consider is touched with sadness. I'm still happy in the flow of something when there's no time to ponder, I still laugh along with friends, take joy in lazing around with my son and the dogs.
But give me a moment, a pause for thought....
I've been on two dates with women I've met on the website. I've email-chatted with half a dozen more. And yet... it's just not the same as catching someone's eye in a club or meeting someone by chance and thinking, wow she's nice. I'm a step removed from that, a considered distance. And at that distance, no woman I've yet to meet can stand comparison with the other woman in my distance - my ex lover. She and I have close moments, interludes when we talk freely, days when we text regularly. And then drifting expanses of silence. And, like I said, I still quietly compare every woman I see to her, her dark eyes, her hair, her smile, the way she filled out a t-shirt, her nice arse in jeans, the way we lay together.
I don't know what to do. Carry on Dating (I'm not sure if I'm Kenneth Williams, Bernard Breslaw or Sid James), or give up til I'm properly over her.
